Anri felt it when Seth woke up. It was a strange feeling, like a pressure in the center of his chest. He just knew that Seth was awake. Relief washed over him. Seth was going to be okay. He had been asleep for too long.

The relief was quickly consumed by regret and dread, and most of all, guilt. It was totally his fault that Seth was hurt. He had tried to warn him, he had, but he should have been…what? He shouldn’t have let himself get shot? He was lucky to be alive, and he was lucky Seth was there to help him. He owed Seth his life.

Simone had been caring for both of them as they recovered. Despite Seth’s blood providing a great deal of healing power, he had been shot straight through the chest with an arrow. Simone was sure that Anri’s wound would have been a mortal blow if not for Seth’s actions, and his blood. Even with his blood, it had taken the better part of a day for him to even be able to get out of bed. She hadn’t said anything, but Anri could tell she suspected that the arrow was not exactly run of the mill.

Because, of course it was totally fucking normal to get shot with an arrow nowadays. She would bring it up eventually, and he was grateful she hadn’t done so yet. He wasn’t ready to discuss his suspicions about who might be behind his back alley shooting.

Today, he was feeling all of the pain of being alive after trauma, which was mostly constant aching on the whole left side of his torso as the muscles tried to reknit and heal. The wounds, punctures on his chest and back were fully sealed, only small angry scabs surrounded by puckers of scar tissue encircled by large angry greenish-purple bruises. They looked like morbid daisies, and they itched to high heaven. The itching had started about an hour ago, and he was sure that the one on his back, impossibly difficult to reach, was going to drive him crazy.

Anri got up carefully and walked over to the spare bedroom. It was mostly used as storage space, but was now a space dedicated to a recovering Wren. Simone put him in the small bed that she used when their younger sister came to visit. Seth was sleeping in a bed covered in hot pink skulls and black roses. He wondered what Seth would think about it, and the absurdity of it almost made him smile. Somehow he knew Seth would make it work for him. He seemed really flexible. Too flexible.

“Simone,” he called gently, his voice feeling raspy and unused. “He’s up.”

Anri knocked lightly and slowly swung the door open. The room was dim, the heavy curtains drawn closed. Light from the hallway spilled around Anri into the room, urging him inside. He took one step into the room, his eyes slowly adjusting to the dimness. The smell in the room was powerful, heavy with the smell of sweat, and of Seth. It wasn’t bad, per say, it was just intense. It staggered him and he leaned painfully against the doorframe, catching himself on the wrong side of his body.

“Seth?” he called gently into the darkness.

“Anri?” Seth rattled, his voice sounding muffled and thick. He took another step into the small room, making his way through assorted boxes and shelves, following a small path leading through the miscellania. He noticed that there was a folding chair opened next to the bed. Simone must have put it there.

Anri walked to the chair and sat down. His foot hit something as he sat, a bottle of water. He leaned down to pick it up. “Seth,” he whispered, for some reason afraid to speak at a normal volume. His guilt sat in his stomach like acid. Usually his night vision was much better than this, but he could barely make out Seth’s form in the bed. It struck him again how badly he had been injured. He heard more than saw Seth shift in bed.

“Seth, I’m here. How…how are you feeling?” he asked with uncertainty, leaning closer to the bed. Seth smelled so strongly. He thought that it should be making him feel his hunger more strongly, but it was more comforting than enticing.

Seth tried to speak but coughed instead, a dry and wheezing gasp of a cough. He couldn’t help but cringe, his shoulders hunched forward.

“Seth, I have some water. Can you drink it?” He took the cap off the water and tried to hand it to Seth. Seth couldn’t drink the water lying down, he realized a second later, pulling the bottle away from Seth’s weakly reaching hand. “Wait a minute, Seth, I’m going to help you sit up so you can drink this water. Please, just try to hold onto me.”

Seth grunted and he took it as permission granted.

He moved so that he was sitting on the bed next to Seth. He replaced the cap on the water and set it down at his feet. Taking a deep breath, he leaned over Seth and wrapped his arms around him in a supporting hug. He ignored the screaming torment from his injured muscles as he pulled Seth’s body up into a sort-of sitting position. Seth’s head lolled limply against his shoulder as he tried his best to gently pull Seth against the ‘not so painful’ side of his body.

“Anri, itsz cold,” Seth mumbled thickly, his mouth sounding like it was full of cotton. Anri reached down carefully, painfully, and grabbed the bottle of water. He tried clumsily to spin the lid off with just one hand as he supported most of Seth’s upper body weight with the other side of his body. The lid fell to the floor and water splashed on his pant leg before he finally got the bottle to Seth’s lips.

“Shhhh, I know, Seth. It’ll be alright. You need to drink this. It’s going to be okay now,” he soothed, hoping he was right. Seth seemed so…weak. Fragile. He swallowed down his own guilt as he held the bottle up to Seth’s lips. His hands were shaking as he tried to get the water into Seth’s mouth and not on him. It was tricky in the dark, trying to give him enough water to sip yet not giving him too much to choke on.

Seth sipped greedily, more water spilling out and running down his chin that making into his mouth. He lifted his hands slowly, as if they weighed too much, and grabbed the water bottle. He pulled it from Anri’s hands and held it to his face, taking small, overly careful sips.

Simone peeked her head around the door, looking around the room quickly. “Hey, Sethy,” she said softly. There was a click and then a small floor lamp illuminated the dusky room with a soft yellow glow. The lamp, only half sized, was about 4 feet tall with a lampshade angled down towards the floor. She stepped over to the chair and sat down.

Anri looked up at her, still supporting Seth. Seth didn’t look over. His eyes didn’t seem to focus on anything in particular, and it looked like he was having difficulty keeping them open. His eyelids had built up a crust, which was gunked up like paste in his eyelashes. Anri fought the urge to wipe it from Seth’s eyes. Seth was bad as Anri had feared. He was incredibly pale, his face sallow with bags under his eyes that were so heavy they appeared black. His hair was askew, flattened down in some places and cowlicked in others. The guilt in Anri’s stomach burned painfully.

Simone looked at him, her face set with worry. “Seth?” she asked carefully, as if talking to an injured animal. “How you feeling? You okay?”

“Mmm…Si…mone,” Seth wheezed, then coughed, his whole body convulsing against Anri’s. He cleared his throat, then weakly he replied, “Yea?” It was a question, and he didn’t seem too confident about the answer. Seth was not okay, but neither he nor Simone were about to correct him.

Seth lifted his head away from his shoulder and put the water bottle back to his lips. He drank deep this time, sucking down water in large gulps. He didn’t put the bottle back until he had drank it all down. His body began to shiver, then the shivering turned into strong trembling.

“C-c-cold cold cold, Anri. Cold. I’m so cold.” Seth said through chattering teeth.

Anri looked at Simone. “Is he in shock? This much later? Is that possible?”

“I’m not a doctor, I don’t know!” she snapped as she stood up, her hands on her hips. Simone glared at him hostilely. She’d been on edge and snappy since Anri had woken up, and understandably so. Her obvious agitation flared his guilt.

He pulled Seth closer into his body, holding his shivering form tightly against his side. Seth’s tremors shook him, too. “Can you go get more blankets please?” he asked his sister without looking at her. From the corner of his eye he saw her nod, then she turned and walked out of the room.

“Hey, Seth, I’m going to lay you back down, okay?” he said soothingly as he began to peel himself away from Seth. Seth jerked violently against his side, resisting him.

“No!” Seth cried weakly, hands grasping his shirt feebly. “No, don’t leave. I’m so cold. I’m…really thirsty. And cold. Please don’t leave.” The empty water bottle rolled off the bed and onto the floor. The panicked look on Seth’s face had his guilt building like water behind a levee.

He relented, pulling Seth firmly against him. “I’m not leaving. Relax. Simone’s getting you some more blankets. I’ll ask her for more water. I’ll stay here with you.” Seth leaned heavily against his bad shoulder as he relaxed. His left side was on fire with pain from the strain on his injured muscles. “I need to lay you down, this position is painful for me.”

“Don’t wanna lay down. Don’t wanna sleep anymore,” Seth mumbled petulantly.

“Okay,” he acquiesced. “Okay, I’ll just, hold on, let me lay you down, just for a minute. “No,” he said when Seth grabbed for him again. “I’m just going to prop you up. Wait. Just a min…”

He shifted on the bed, trying his best to ignore the tingling daggers of pain dancing around his shoulder and chest. Slowly, trying not to overexert his muscles, he repositioned Seth so that he was lying down.

Seth whined wordlessly. Anri scooted down the bed and grabbed three throw pillows, two black embroidered with pink skulls and one hot pink with a large black velvet rose. He wrapped an arm around them and half dragged them to Seth.

Awkwardly, he pulled Seth up and shoved the pillows behind him. This did nothing to get Seth propped up. Anri was going to have to scoot Seth back closer to the wall and prop the pillows up behind him. He knew this was going to hurt them both, and he hoped it would hurt him more than Seth. He felt nauseous with the amount of guilt he had at the thought of hurting Seth again. He would make sure he made up for all of this. He would, somehow.

“Okay, Seth, I’m going to scoot you back now, come up, back you go.” He sucked in a deep breath as the pain made small silver-white lights dance across his vision. Seth shivered violently as Anri tried to make them both more comfortable.

Simone came back in with the extra blankets. “Anri, cool it, you’re not healed yourself! You’re gonna open up your wounds again. Why didn’t you just wait for me?” she chided, carrying two fleece blankets, one under each arm. She nimbly shifted Seth into a sitting position, making it look easy, and wrapped him up in the blankets. She had positioned one of the blankets around his shoulders and pulled it over his head like a hood.

She handed Anri another bottle of water. “I heard him say he was thirsty,” she shrugged.

“Thanks, Simone,” Anri said with quiet sincerity. Simone nodded at him, already back to standing in the doorway.

Anri opened the bottle and handed it to Seth. Sitting up, Seth seemed to look a tiny bit better. He hoped it wasn’t misplaced optimism. Seth took the bottle in one hand but made no move to drink it. He brought his other hand up to his eyes, his arms moving like they were carved from wood, and wiping at his face clumsily.

“Shit. Anri, I feel like shit. Do you have anyth-th-thing to eat?” Seth said slowly. “I th-th-think I c-c-could eat everything. All of the things.” Shivers rippled like waves, small convulsions throughout his body.

Simone stood up again. “I’ll go get you something. Maybe we should start out with yogurt? Something easy to eat. I’ll go look at what we have.” She turned to leave, then turned around again abruptly. “Anri, you should help him. You know what I mean.”

“Simone! I can’t….that’s not fair to him…” Anri whined.

“Bull, Anri. Get over yourself. It’s kinda too late for regret now, so just suck it up,” she snapped. “He’s stuck with you one way or another at this point. Even if you don’t, well, quite frankly, and sorry you have to hear this, Sethy, but he looks like shit. Help him, and fix your problems. Clean up your mess.”

Anri cringed, his stomach churning with anxiety. Simone saw something in his expression and her face clouded over. He couldn’t do what she asked. It wasn’t fair to Seth, not without his consent. And there was no way he’d be able to provide consent in his current condition. And…he couldn’t bind him like that, couldn’t make him his Wren. But…Seth…he owed him everything…

“Look at him, then tell me you can’t! Look. At. Him,” she said sternly, jabbing her finger to enunciate each word. “Jesus Christ, Anni. Stop being a baby. He’s your responsibility now, so deal with it. Stop running away from your problems.” She turned and stormed out of the room.

He ran his hands through his loose hair, scratching his scalp as he did. He moved carefully, deliberately trying not to continue to agonize the left side of his body. He wasn’t doing it so he didn’t have to look at Seth, he tried to convince himself.

“Anri?” Seth questioned. “Wh-what’s going on? Oh, you were shot!” Panic covered Seth’s features. He watched as Seth remembered the events from a few days ago. “I…oh, Anri, are you ok-k-kay?”

He had been prepared for fear and rage, hatred even. He was not prepared for concern and worry. The way Seth looked at him had shocked the words right from his mouth “Huh?” he said dumbly.

“Y-y-you were shot-t,” Seth stuttered, the shivering now travelling through his body in intense waves. First he was shivering, then a strong spasm would cause his whole body to jerk. Each new wave was heavy knife slicing Anri’s heart. He turned, pulling his legs onto the bed, scooting closer to Seth. He wrapped his arm around Seth and pulled him into his body, trying to hug some warmth into Seth. Seth’s body shuddered under his arm and the knife twisted deeper.

“Oh, Seth, you idiot. I’m fine. You saved me. I’m the one…well,” Anri struggled to find the words. “There’s so much I have to tell you. I don’t know how, though. I…” he hesitated. Shame and guilt welled up in his chest, seeming to push the air out. It hurt to breath. “It’s my fault,” Anri almost sobbed. “You like this, this is my fault. I never meant for you to get hurt. I didn’t want you to be involved at all…”

“Anri, I remember it. You were hurt r-really b-b-bad. I saved you? My blood? Saved you? I’m so glad you’re ok-k-kay.” Seth looked him in the eyes, meaning every word he said.

“Why, Seth? Why? Why aren’t you afraid of me?” he cried out, pain coloring his voice. “I would be. I would be afraid of me, if I were you. I drank…too much of you. You could have died.”

“Anri, You didn’t bleed me dry. You stopped. I rememb-b-ber. I’m going to be ok-k-kay. You s-s-s-said s-s-so,” Seth shivered uncontrollably for a moment and all he could do was to hold him tight, struggling to hold down the tremors.

Nothing had ever made him feel so bad. Anri knew Simone was right. He also knew she wasn’t going to come back quickly and give him an excuse to avoid this any longer. He knew what he had to do, had known from the moment Simone had come home, finding them sprawled together in the foyer, tangled together in a bloody heap. Her screams had torn him from his haze, and he didn’t really remember much afterwards other than the panic and shame and pain and grief.

“Fuck, Seth, the only reason you’re alive is because you had some of my blood. You must have. There was so much of it, all over, you must have gotten some in your mouth. But…” he struggled to continue. Thoughts of Angelina welled up in the back of his mind like the taste of bile in the back of his throat. He shook his head hard, clearing those thoughts away. He couldn’t think of that now. He had to do this, and had to be in this moment, with Seth, because he put him in this situation, because he had sacrificed himself for Anri. He deserved to feel better, especially if it was something Anri could give him. His past, his problems, and his inability to deny Seth, those reasons and more all made him responsible.

Steeling his resolve, he looked at Seth, tired and weak. Hell, Seth had almost died, all because he offered himself to save his pathetic life. Seth had saved his life, even if he felt like he didn’t deserve it. God, he was such a selfish asshole. Simone was right.

She would remind him that she was right later, she always did. Why was she always fucking right? He smiled for the first time in days, even if it was weak.

He knew what he had to do. He needed to finish what he had started, even if he hadn’t intended to start it. He wished he could have done it differently, but it was too late for regrets now.

Fuck. He hoped Seth would forgive him.

“Seth, um…well…” he struggled to find a beginning. “You, ah, well, you know I’m a vampire.”

Seth laughed, throaty and thick. “Um,” he shivered, “yea, first hand. I know.”

“So, um. Well…shit. This is hard.” His hands through his hair again, and he forced himself to look Seth in the eyes. “Okay, I can, well, because it’s you, um. Ah…”

“Jesus, Anri!” Simone stormed in, a container of strawberry yogurt in her hand, a spoon sticking out of it. “You are such a wimp. How are you even related to me? Seth,” she said, turning her attention to him. She handed the yogurt to Anri without looking and placed her hands over Seth’s, which were under the blankets.

“Seth, he can make you feel better, faster. He is just a big wimp who’s afraid to clean up his own messes. He’s vamp, so drink his blood. Just a little will make you feel a whole lot better. I promise,” she said with assurance.

Seth looked at him, then back at Simone. “I dunno, Seth. I guess he’s shy,” she said gently in response to his unspoken question. He trembled as a strong shiver tore through his body. She turned to Anri, giving him a look that screamed ‘this is your fault’. The knife in his heart sank deeper and working hard to cut him in half.

“I…ah…okay, I’ll do it,” he said to Simone quietly, looking down. She reached into the pocket of her sweatpants and pulled out a small red pocket knife on a keychain. Anri instantly recognized it. Seth’s small red pocket knife attached to Seth’s keychain. Did Simone understand the relevance of her gesture? He only hesitated slightly before he gently took it from her outstretched hand.

He looked up at her, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. Simone snorted. “I thought it was symbolic.”

Of course she figured it out. She was really too perceptive, especially when he hoped she wouldn’t be. “You’re killing me,” he whined.

“No, Anri, you’re killing Seth. Just do it!” she snapped angrily. Simone turned, facing Seth. “Seth, will you accept Anri’s offering?” she asked seriously, looking deeply into his eyes.

“Simone…” he moaned, his stomach hurting now as much as his shoulder. “You can’t!”

“Yes.” Seth’s reply was intense and certain.

“Seth, you don’t know what she is asking you, you don’t understand, I need to, ugh!” Frustrated, Anri pulled the knife out of it’s casing and tested the tip on his finger. He didn’t really need to test it, though, he knew how sharp it was.

“Anri,” he said calmly. “Please look at m-m-me.” He pulled a trembling hand out from under the blankets, turning sideways to look at him. “Please,” he begged, trying to shift in bed to look at him.

He looked at Seth and he was sure he felt the knife in his heart as it cleaved it in half. Seth’s intensity let him know that, on some level, even if he didn’t understand what was happening, he knew that it must. He pushed down his worry and apprehension. He had to make this right, or at least salvage as much as he could. “What’s your full name?”

Seth looked a little puzzled. “Seth Stanley Morrigan?” He said it as a question.

Tension balled in Anri. He took a deep breath, steeling his resolve. “Please forgive me for this Seth,” he requested softly.

Seth went to say something but Anri interrupted him. “Seth Stanley Morrigan, I am the vampire Anri Farrell Rousseau. I would offer to you my blood, to save you, and to bind us together by blood. Do you accept my gift?” The words flowed from him easily, as if he was being guided. Something bigger than him was happening and he was powerless to stop it, even if he had wanted to do so.

“Anri Farrell Rousseau, it is my greatest honor to accept your offering, and to be bound by our blood.” Seth’s response tickled something in the back of his mind, but before he could focus on it, he brought the blade down on his wrist, slicing parallel to his hand. Anri could almost feel power crackle with electricity between them. The knife was so sharp he didn’t feel the cut at first, but the pain followed fast behind as he leaned over, offering his dripping wrist to Seth.

Seth bowed his head slightly, respectfully, before pulling Anri’s arm to his face. His body instinctively knew what to do, even if Seth himself didn’t know. He licked up the side of Anri’s wrist tentatively, then latched his mouth over the cut.

Seth’s eyes closed and Anri felt him begin to suck at the cut, licking at the skin around his wrist. Unnatural calm and warmth engulfed him. He tried to worry about how strange it felt to be so calm, but he just couldn’t bring himself care. He shifted his body, careful not to pull his arm away from Seth as he settled in beside him. His body wrapped around Seth’s and everything felt okay. Everything was going to be fine.  

Seth sucked and licked his wrist as he bled, and he couldn’t bring himself to care about anything. Eventually his wound began to close up with that itchy sensation as the skin knit back together. Had it taken longer than normal for him to heal? Seth softly licked at the smeared blood, nuzzling his wrist pleasantly.

He felt truly content and relaxed for the first time in a long time. Everything was perfectly fine in that moment, and a hazy part of him wished it would last forever.

Chapter 9: Well, That Was Completely Unexpected

Chapter 11: Wake Up