That single drop of blood haunted Anri all night, the taste elusive yet permeating. He had never tasted anyone like Seth, never even close. At odds with his desire for another taste, however, was a lingering feeling of guilt and shame.

He couldn’t look at Seth afterwards. He watched him leave through the mirror behind the bar and waited another full minute before he went to lock the door. Even after the door was locked, he couldn’t calm down. His stomach in his throat, he went through the motions of closing the bar without thinking, his mind full of only Seth.

He had felt his fangs protract in his mouth as he longed to lengthen the slit on Seth’s finger. It was what had broken the trance he had been in, making him jump away, bringing him back to reality. His fangs hadn’t receded until well after Seth was gone. The taste of Seth was throughout his mouth, even after he had downed a shot of bourbon to cleanse his palate. He eventually made his way home in a daze, with no memory of the walk home.

What the fuck had come over him?

He found no solace in sleep that night, either. Tossing and turning, all the while craving another taste. Not just a taste. He wanted to drink from Seth. He wanted more from Seth than he wanted to admit. The only thing that helped him curb the cravings was his incredible mortification over losing control like some fucking teenager. Like it had been his first taste of blood.

The memory of the taste sent a spike of desire through him at the same time as it twisted his stomach in knots. That spike of desire was not just for blood, either. He couldn’t admit it, refused to admit that he had felt sexually attracted to Seth. It was just his blood, he told himself, that unique, distinct flavor that he craved. That was all, he tried to convince himself.

He eventually gave up on sleep and got up way earlier than he would normally. He was all sorts of anxious.

He needed a distraction.

In his free time, he spent more time than was healthy, according to Simone, reading scanlated manga, watching anime, and searching the internet for all things “vampire”. She thought that his crusade to correct the internet about vampires was his biggest waste of time, and bad for his health. Most of the websites were obscene with misinformation, obviously written by human dreamers. Occasionally, though not as often as he would have thought when he first started his personal internet vampire crusade, he ran across some with real accounts, or with semi-accurate information that hinted at the truth but didn’t speak it out right.

Today, he decided to lurk in the deepest cracks of the internet, trying to do whatever he could to get his mind off of Seth. To take his mind away from his cravings for another sweet, decadent taste of his rich blood. From trying to figure out why he lost his self control, and why he lost it so completely. He had never given in so easily, especially when he wasn’t even close to his bloodlust.

Really, instead of lurking, he ended up staring blankly at the computer screen. A half read blog article illuminated the screen, but he couldn’t recall reading any of it. He just couldn’t focus on the words, his mind wandering back, replaying and scrutinizing the events of the previous night. Calling into question everything that he could remember ever talking about with Seth, even before last night. Had he given himself away even before this?

His thoughts circled like vultures. This wasn’t working. Maybe he should just watch something to distract himself. He pulled up a random episode of the anime Attack on Titan. He watched a few minutes and tried to pay attention to the subtitles, but no matter how hard he tried to focus, his mind kept drifting back to last night. To Seth.

Disgusted with himself, he pushed the laptop closed with a little more force than intended. He cringed and tried to relax, but instead he tensed up even more, staring at the wall behind the laptop. He sighed heavily, running his hands through his messy hair.

“Whatsa matter, Anni? Didja get into another fight with those silly reddit vamp larpers?” a familiar voice asked from behind him.

He half jumped, half cringed at the sound of her voice, not expecting her to be awake yet. Anri looked back over his shoulder to find Simone, his older sister, leaning in the kitchen doorway. She held a steaming coffee mug in her hands, which were covered in a multitude of silver rings. Her long, dirty blond hair was pulled into a messy ponytail. She was still in her pajamas, a pair of grey yoga pants and a black camisole topped with a worn out sweatshirt. The sweatshirt was a favorite of hers, one she still had from her time in the high school drama club. It was so well worn that the cuffs were ratty and torn, the black faded long ago to a dull dark gray color that struggled to hide discolorations from who knows what over the years.

Anri swiveled the chair around to face her. He sighed tiredly. “G’morning Simone. No, I did not get into a fight on reddit.” He eyed her coffee longingly. “You know I only check those to see what crazy things people are dreaming up. It’s not like they ever get it right, anyway. It’s mostly just crazy conspiracy theories, people pretending they are vampires, blood-letting fang banger wanna-bes or larpers. Seriously, commenting in those forums is not worth the time.”

Simone laughed a little. “That’s only because when you try to,” she put up her free hand and made little bunny ear air quotes, “‘set the record straight’ no one believes you! That was great, I mean, really great. It’s still funny.” Her nose wrinkled up in amusement.

“Thanks, Simone. You know I only do it to provide you with entertainment,” he retorted grumpily. He briefly wondered if he stared at her cup hard enough, maybe by magic, one with contents very similar to her own would find its way into his hands. The odds not being in favor of magical coffee, he pushed himself up out of his chair and padded his way barefoot into the kitchen. He pulled a mug out of the cabinet and poured himself some of the dark, rich coffee she had made. “I’m not trolling on reddit today, for your information.”

“Ohhhhh…someone is touchy today!” Simone said brightly. “Spill it, something is bothering you. Nothing wakes up the Prince of Darkness from his slumber this early.” Simone took a drink of coffee, nodding her head. “Yup, I’m like a detective I’m so on your case this morning. So…” she drawled out, leaning forward mischievously, “Tell me what’s got you losing sleep today! Did George R.R. Martin kill off another of your favorite characters in the latest Game of Thrones?”

Anri could tell she was enjoying this game, and he really wasn’t in the mood to play. Rolling his eyes, he retorted, “No, Game of Thrones isn’t even on right now.”

“Obviously.” That smile, the patronizing one she saved just for him, the one that pushed his buttons and made him angry, was on her face right now. “So, what, did you spend all night grinding just to forget to save? Did something happen in one of your comics?” she pressed on relentlessly, teasing him.

She was taller than Anri, which had always bugged him, and she often used this to her advantage. She rubbed her hand in his messy mop of hair, which he hadn’t yet tied up. “Come on Anni, tell me!” Simone whined. “It’s gonna eat at you until you do, you know. Who else do you have to tell your deep dark secrets to? Who’s gonna listen to you cry about how long it takes to get each issue of whatever comic translated?” She put out a pouty lip. “Kawaiso ni…you poor baby.”

He turned from her, jerking his head away from her hand. His hair tangled around her rings and he frustratedly tried harder to pull away from her. He ended up tilting his head in an awkward position, holding her hand away from his head. “Stop making fun of me. You don’t even like Japanese stuff. Don’t ‘kawaiso ni’ me.”

“Hold it, hold it, I’ll get you out,” she said, frustrated. “Stop moving! You’re making it worse.” She teased some of his hair from around her silver rings. “

“You are really really upset this morning. I’m sorry I teased you. Tell me what’s wrong. I promise I’ll try really hard to not make fun of you any more.” She smiled gently at him, pulling the last few strands of his hair from her rings. Then she broke out her “innocent” smile that had always gotten her out of trouble as a child, and now looked absurd on her as an adult.

He stared at her for a moment trying to glare at her. She smiled back sweetly. He had always been weak against her silly, innocent smile. It was his downfall more often than not.

He heavily sighed again. Finally he said, “I fucked up, Simone. Last night at the bar.”

“Oh, jeez. It can’t be that bad, what’d you do, break like five wine glasses or something?” she asked flippantly.

“Nah, nothing like that. Wait-a-minute…Do you think I’m that clumsy? Screw you!” he said, smiling for the first time since before the incident the night before. He swung at her playfully and she skillfully dodged out of the way, holding her coffee cup high. She walked over to the small dining room table and sat down with the grace and nimbleness of a lanky cat.

“Come on, Anni, come sit and tell me about your bad night. You’ll feel better, then you can go nap. I know this morning business is not your bag,” she said with a sympathetic smile.

“I really messed up. I mean, I did something so stupid. I don’t…” he said as he walked over and sat in the metal parlor chair across from her. “I can’t believe I’m so dumb.”

“Anni, the suspense is killing me. Just spit it out!” Her leg began to tap against the floor with her impatience.

He hesitated, then swallowed hard. He just had to get it out. “I…uh…I mighta…I drank someone at the bar last night,” he sputtered. “It was just a drop, but, god, I was so…I have no idea what came over me.” Anri looked down into his coffee cup, nervous to see what kind of expression his sister wore, burning with personal shame.

She took a deep breath, unexpectedly quiet. He felt the need to fill in the silence. He blurted out the whole story, about the first time he had met Seth, how he had been coming to the bar for a few weeks, about his mysterious smell, the cut, and his taste.

Oh, god, his taste. He couldn’t get it out of his mind. Just talking about it sent a strong craving through him. He sighed as he finished up his monologue, Simone quietly sitting across from him. He felt a bit delirious, babbling out the events of the last few weeks, and especially from last night.

After what felt like ten minutes, but was probably only a few seconds, Simone cleared her throat. He looked up at her, shame and embarrassment burning in his chest. “God, Simone, it was like I was a stupid kid again. I just couldn’t stop myself. I’m such a fuck up,” he moaned, his forehead in his hands.

“Anni, listen.” She saw he was about to interject and said, “No, seriously, Anni, shut up and listen. I think that maybe this Seth kid is a Wren.” He went to interrupt again and Simone held up her hand. “I’m serious, Anni, I know you are going to try to blow this off and blame it on yourself with your low self esteem, but think about it. When is the last time you acted like this? Cause I can tell you that I can’t remember you ever acting like this, even with your first blood. You’re so damn uptight, such a perfectionist that you would normally never in a million years act like that with anyone ever. And I’ve known you your whole life. I would bet money on it that this Seth kid is a Wren.”

Anri had not considered this option, which made him feel stupid. He was sure it was his fault some way, a moment of weakness. That in a moment, he was overcome with a wave of loneliness, or that he had felt some type of connection with Seth, or whatever else might have caused him to very obviously go temporarily insane. Or something. Insanity might explain it, right? That Seth might be a Wren…was even more dangerous than him just losing his mind for a moment. Much more dangerous. He couldn’t do that again. He just couldn’t.

“God, Simone. I hope not. I really really hope I’m just an idiot,” he sighed tiredly.

Simone snorted. “You are so dramatic, Anni. Such a drama queen. It would definitely explain my crazy brother’s loss of sanity last night. I can see why you’re so upset. Did anyone else see you do it?”

He shook his head, “No, thank god. I was settling his bill and he was the last customer in. I was manning the bar alone last night. But, how do I explain it if he asks? God, what do I say to him next time I see him? I sucked on his finger like some weirdo. Maybe he won’t come back. That would be good. Easy.” Anri sighed heavily, feeling bad for himself. “It’s never that easy, is it? I know, I’ll just never go to work again. Then I’ll never see him. I can get a new job.”

Even as he said it, the thought of never seeing Seth again, never smelling or tasting him again, made something tighten painfully inside. He was disgusted with himself for feeling that, too, but it didn’t matter. He wanted Seth’s blood more than he felt disgusted. He was an emotional mess this morning. Despite his disgust, he burned with desire to see Seth again. He ran his hands through his messy hair in frustration.

“Jesus, Anni. You’re so dramatic, really. Just calm down, you aren’t quitting your job. Maybe he was too drunk to remember? Did you try to space him out?” ‘Spacing out’ a person was what Simone called their trick of fuzzing someone’s memory just a little, blurring it so that it was difficult to recall exactly what happened for a few moments of time. It was something that they could do shortly after consuming a human’s blood. A small suggestion could change how that person remembered the previous ten minutes or so.

“He wasn’t drunk, he doesn’t drink much at all. And, no, I was so flustered that I missed the chance. Oh, Simone, what should I do?” He put his head in his hands, hair falling over his face.

“I still think he’s a Wren,” she insisted. “You should test it.”

“How do you propose I do that? I think…I think I need to stay away from him, my own good, and for his sake, too. I apparently can’t be trusted to control myself lately.” He sipped the coffee, which was cooling quickly now. “Maybe I need to take some time off of work. I don’t want to make any more dumb mistakes with anyone else.”

“Anni…He’s a Wren. I’m sure of it. Even if you are tired cause you are working so much lately, you wouldn’t make this kind of mistake with just anyone. I just know it, he has to be a Wren, and, if that’s the case, you couldn’t help but be attracted to him. Test him. If he’s a Wren, then…you could introduce him to me,” she teased wickedly. “Is he hot? I haven’t had fun in ages. This whole responsible adult thing is not what it was cracked up to be. Definitely false advertising.”

“Simone, seriously, this isn’t funny. And if he is a Wren, we should both stay away. He is dangerous to be around.”

“Oh my god, you are such a spoil sport. Who cares if he’s a Wren? It’s okay to find yourself a Wren, right? Why does it scare you so much? Is it cause he’s a dude? Are you worried you’re gay or something?” She went to take a drink, but her cup was empty. She looked down in it longingly, over at the mostly empty coffee pot, then back down at her cup. “Introduce him to me. I’d love to play with a Wren for a while.”

“Simone, are you crazy? Playing with a Wren? That’s like…playing with fire,” he realized how stupid that sounded as it was coming out of his mouth. He was so tired he couldn’t think straight. “Have you ever been with a Wren?”

“Not, ah, exactly. No, I haven’t,” she admitted softly.

“No?” he retorted more harshly than he had meant to. “So, how would you test if he’s a Wren without fucking it up?”

Simone put her coffee cup in the sink and leaned on the counter. “Hmmm…I don’t know. Does he seem to be attracted to you? I mean, if he was a Wren he would be unnaturally attracted to our kind.” She paused to think. “You should see if he will meet up with you after work. If he is really interested in you, more than just as a favorite bartender, then he’ll take you up on the offer and follow you. You can test his intentions then. You could always nip him and try to space him out next time. I’m pretty sure that doesn’t work on Wrens, though. I could ask mom more about Wrens…she would know.”

“Don’t you dare tell mom! Don’t, Simone! I will never forgive you. I mean it. She is the last person I need all up in my business about this. I just need some sleep. This is all my stupid fault. Seth is not a Wren. He’s just a nice kid who studies for fun in a bar and who happens to talk to me since there is no one else around to talk to. He. Is. Not. A. Wren.” As he emphasized the words, he wondered internally who he was trying harder to convince, himself or his sister.

“Whatever, Anni, you believe what you want. I have to go get ready to open the shop anyway. Do you think he will be in again tonight?” Simone wasn’t looking at him, now, but looking off into the distance. He wondered what she was imagining.

“I’m going to call off tonight, I think.” He got up from the table and put his now empty coffee cup in the sink next to Simone’s, avoiding looking at her.

“Bullshit,” she called his bluff. “You’ll go into work. You have this weird sense of obligation and loyalty. You won’t call off just because you wanna hide from this Seth kid. I bet he’s hot. Is he hot?” Simone asked conspiratorially, leaning forward expectantly. Anri ignored her and headed off down the hallway towards his bedroom.

“I’m going back to bed. Have a lovely day at work.” He stopped just outside of his bedroom and turned back to look at Simone. “Don’t you dare go to the bar to look for him. Stay away from Seth. I’m going to avoid him, too. Just…stay away.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Anni…” she called playfully down the hall.

“I mean it, Simone! Stay away from him. Just…don’t make this worse,” he yelled over his shoulder at her.

Anri went into his bedroom and closed the door behind him, the darkness of his room enveloping him and making him drowsy despite the coffee he had just imbibed. He yawned and flopped himself down into his messy bed, tunneling down under the covers. No matter how hard he tried to disregard Simone’s comments that Seth might be a Wren, they itched inside his brain. He was more worried that she was right than he had been about accidentally drinking Seth. If Seth was a Wren…that would mean…

Frustrated and exhausted, Anri grabbed his cell phone off of the nightstand and set a timer for four hours. Simone was right about one thing, he couldn’t bring himself to call off of work over this. Besides, he couldn’t leave Red to man the bar alone on the busiest night of the week. He pulled the covers up over his head and curled up on his side, head swirling with thoughts of Seth as he fell into a fitful sleep.

———–

Anri spent the first half of his shift full of anxiety, his heart skipping every time the door opened. He spent the second half of his shift, after he realized that Seth wasn’t coming, oscillating between crushing disappointment and mild relief. The lack of balance regarding those emotions was troubling.

As he locked the doors for the night he steeled himself to forget about Seth. As much as he knew it was a good plan, the feeling in his gut was more like a panic attack at the thought of not seeing Seth again. Of never tasting him again, because it most definitely was was just his blood that Anri was craving. It wasn’t any other type of attraction, he insisted to himself. He was not attracted to Seth. He wasn’t, he told himself for about the thousandth time that night.

Disgusted with himself, Anri decided to spend his day off tomorrow trying to forget about Seth.

Chapter 2 b: Deny It All You Want-Seth

Chapter 4 Nosy Siblings