When he came back up into the kitchen, Lance was already pouring steaming water into two tea cups. There was only the briefest warning before Joro stepped off of the wall and onto his shoulder. Seth flinched, glad the sudden movement didn’t have him jumping. He gritted his teeth as Joro settled in, four of its eight spider legs grasping his shirt down his back.
Joro seemed to be able to shift sizes at will, and now was about the size of a small housecat, though it was perched more like an eight legged parrot. It had stopped hissing at Lance, but it was still obviously not pleased with his company. It didn’t weigh much, but he would have liked a little warning. Joro most definitely wasn’t helping matters, especially when both him and Lance were already stressed. Joro rubbed its face against his and he scratched its ear reflexively. It began to purr loudly on his shoulder, sounding like an old beat-up lawn mower.
Lance carried over two plates filled with eggs. He wasn’t surprised in the least that one plate’s pile of eggs was nominally larger than the other. He was surprise when the larger portion was placed before him. Seth looked up at Lance, shocked by the gesture.
“What?” Lance asked defensively, very pointedly not making eye contact. He picked up the teacups, setting one down on the table next to Seth’s plate. The smell of eggs and orange pekoe swirled had him closing his eyes, breathing deep he found the normal smells calming.
Joro leaned forward as Lance sat down across from them, pushing aside Seth’s clutter of books, mail and schoolwork to make room for his own plate. Joro had claws in those tiny, creepy, baby-handed feet. He knew this because they were currently digging into his back as it readied itself to pounce on Lance.
“Joro, chill. You’re hurting me,” he said. Joro sent some colorful swirls to Seth, which was probably an apology, maybe. Apology or not, Joro relaxed a little bit, retracting its claws. It shifted as it regained balance without the use of its razor-bladed anchors.
“You named it?!” Lance scowled.
Seth shrugged dismissively, returning his attention back to Lance, who watched with interested disdain. “You never share evenly. So, why give me all the eggs? You are weird today. Today is weird. We should start over, except I don’t want to open my front door again, cause it’s cold outside. And no touching supernaturals bonds, not that part, either.”
Lance scrunched his face up, pinching the bridge of his nose again. “Okay. Yeah, today is weird. So, um…”
Seth rolled his eyes. “I’ll start. Hi Lance, how was your winter break?”
Lance appraised him from across the table. He took a deep breath. “I’m glad you are still the same old pain in the ass that I know and love. Hi Seth. Was your winter break as shitty as mine was? I was really excited to come back and hang out today. I just wanted something to feel normal for a little while.”
“Hmm,” Seth drawled. “My break was chaotic and I spent a good amount of it either doing absolutely nothing or almost dying. I did find my soul mate, though, so it wasn’t all bad. What was shitty about your break?” He stated everything in an overly casual tone.
“Almost dying?!” Lance’s hands slammed the table and Joro was immediately hissing at him again, razor-blade anchors sinking back into Seth’s flesh. “Seth, call off your shadow spider or I will take care of it, and neither of you will enjoy it. Send it back to where it came from so we can talk. I don’t care to be threatened, familiar or not.”
A mix of emotions washed through him, and eventually he settled on annoyed. “You weren’t here, Lance, so you don’t know that the ‘shadow spider’ saved my life. Its name is Joro, by the way.”
Lance rolled his eyes. “I’m glad you think it saved your life, but it’s a parasite. It was probably only trying to save its own hide. I don’t know how you found it, and I hope you tell me, but for now, all it wants a reason to hurt me. And, I don’t particularly feel like being poisoned. Shadow spider venom hurts like a bitch.”
Joro bristled, its hair standing on end. He could feel its claws digging into his back. He wondered if it was drawing blood yet. He sighed and sent calming thoughts towards the black mote in his head.
“Joro,” he said softly, reaching slowly to scratch the englier behind the ear, “go back to your room. I’m fine. Lance is my best friend.” He sent images of them together throughout their childhood.
Joro hissed, a leggy ball of red-swirled, black furred stress. Its cheshire face was contorted in an all too human look of contempt, surreal and creepy. “Stop. Go. Please,” he asked carefully.
Joro’s tail whipped angrily down his back, the hard chitinous stinger bumping against his spine. “Joro is poisonous?” he wondered aloud.
Lance frowned. “You are critically under-informed. Today is not going to go at all how I had hoped. Put your demonic parasite away and school will be in session, a day early.”
“What are your qualifications to be my instructor, Lance?” he snapped, then turned to the englier on his shoulder. “And you, Joro, cool it. Seriously. Go now and I’ll get you a whole bowl of goldfish, I promise.” Joro had discovered Simone’s fishbowl, much to their demise. It was a difficult conversation, trying to explain the demon that it could not eat the fish. How did you explain pets to a creature through pictures? Joro had eaten all of the fish in her fishbowl before anyone had been able to stop it. Simone had been…less than pleased.
Seth sent an image of a bunch of goldfish in a bowl on the kitchen counter. Joro mentally purred in happy rainbow-colored splashes, jumping from his shoulder to the floor. In a cat-like manner, it slowly sauntered out of the kitchen down the hall, silently on its eight baby-handed spider legs. Joro’s tail betrayed its annoyance, the scorpion-tipped tail whipping about, reminiscent of an irritated kitty.
The creature turned the corner, heading towards its makeshift bedroom. Joro had a bedroom all to itself, including a bed, but it chose to make a hammock-like nest inside the closet. Seth still wasn’t sure how the creature had made the nest. It sent him an image of a him stepping through a rift, probably informing him that if things got bad he could always stargate out.
Lance relaxed, letting out a deep breath. “Jesus, Seth. You’ve made some new friends. Dangerous friends. Remind me not to get on your bad side. The sting on those things…let’s say I’ve heard it isn’t pleasant. Every part of a shadow spider is pointy and toxic.”
“Toxic?” Seth asked, confused. “I’ve been stung by it. And clawed by it. In fact…I’m pretty sure I’m actively bleeding from its claws as we speak. And, I’ve been bitten by it, though never hard enough to break the skin.”
Lance rubbed his chin yet again, a tell of how frustrated he was. Another tell was the piles of eggs slowly getting cold in front of both of them. Seth picked up his fork and dug in. The eggs were perfectly seasoned, though the pile on his plate was much too large.
Lance watched him eat before he said anything. “You’re immune to it, I think. I don’t know anyone who’s ever called a shadow spider as a familiar. I thought…” His head turned to the side thoughtfully. “Were you already bound to the vampire when you called the shadow spider?”
“Called Joro? I didn’t call it. It was already here,” he replied between forks full of eggs. He was more hungry than he thought.
“It was already here?” Lance’s eyes opened in surprise.
“Yeah. It belonged to a witch. She had summoned it with, um, vampire’s blood, I guess. But, like, a long time ago, like a year ago or something.” Seth sent his fork down for another mouthful of eggs only to realize he had eaten all but small bits of egg left over from the large pile.
“She called it here over a year ago? She couldn’t have bonded with it, not with it bonding to you. Unless…Is she dead? The witch? That would explain how it could have bonded with you if it was bonded to her first.” Lance asked, his mind busy trying to paint the picture.
“She isn’t dead, but I think she’s, um, in the demon realm now? I’m not sure, I was busy almost dying and then bonding with Joro.”
Joro sent him images of the two of them bonding, then an image of Angelina, Anri’s ex-girlfriend, and also the witch who summoned Joro. The creature sent waves of pure hatred. He reciprocated.
“Actually, I don’t think it bonded with her at all. Man, it really seems to hate her.” Seth nodded angrily. “I hate her, too. We have that in common.”
Lance watched him anxiously. “So it seems…”
Seth sighed. “Let’s step back. Tell me how you know about all this stuff? Especially when we have been friends for, like, twenty years or something and the first time I learned about vampires was by accidently bleeding in front of a very sexy one.”
Seth smiled at the memory of Anri sucking the small drop of blood from his papercut back before the beginning of winter break. It seemed like it had happened a lot longer ago than just two months.
“How does one accidentally bleed in front of a vampire?” Lance’s question was laced with sarcasm.
“Papercut. I can see this isn’t going to be easy. You keep secrets like ‘the vampire’.” Seth snorted, making air quotes with his fingers. “How about this. I’ll ask a question and you’ll answer it. Then I’ll answer a question for you. Fair?” he asked. His stomach, now that it had been teased with food, grumbled, demanding more. “Oh, and are you gonna eat those eggs? I’m super hungry today.” He picked up the tea cup and took a huge swill of the tea. It was the perfect temperature.
“Of course you’re super hungry, you are powering two bonds and you’re feeding that vampire you bonded with. You must have lost ten pounds since I saw you last. You look like a twig. Isn’t vampirella taking good care of you?” Lance pushed his plate across the table to Seth. He got up and went to the fridge, rummaging around for something else to eat.
Seth frowned. He pushed the plate back to Lance’s side of the table. “You eat it, I’ll get some fruit or something. I have apples, you want one?” He got up and grabbed two apples out of a bowl on the counter, throwing one to Lance. Lance, who was not prepared to catch the apple, fumbled it twice before catching it. He shot an annoyed look at Seth as he bit into it, the crunch oddly loud in the quiet kitchen.
Lance swallowed and said “Fine, I’ll play your game. Ask your question. But I reserve the right to decline to answer. I’m a man of mystery, as we both know.” He flipped his hair back as he said it in a very ‘shampoo commercial’ way.
Seth rolled his eyes. “Fine, James Bond. But I get to ask a new question for each you don’t answer. So, how is it that you can see my bond? I can’t even see it, not normally.”
Lance sat down and began shoveling the eggs into his mouth. Seth could tell he was stalling.
“I’m not stalling. I’m trying to figure out how to tell you. It’s different,” Lance said, seemingly reading his mind. “And no, I’m not reading your mind. I just know that look. Soooo…” he paused, taking another big bite of egg. “Your bond is quite obvious to me, because I know what to look for. Consider it a…special talent.”
“How?” he demanded.
“You are breaking the rules to your own game. It’s my turn. So, want to tell me how you got bonded and wed to vampirella?” Lance’s tone was light but the deep, slow breaths he was taking indicated inner turmoil.
Lance assumed Anri was a woman, and Seth had let him believe it. He knew he had to tell Lance about Anri, but he wasn’t really ready to come out to his best friend, not on top of everything else that was going wrong this morning. He wished he’d had time to prepare. He should have been thinking about how to have the ‘boyfriend’ conversation with Lance at the very least. He bit his lip ring in consternation.
Seth’s anxiety perked Joro’s attention and he sent calming thoughts towards the creature. It pulled back a little, but it was almost as tense as he felt. Joro sent him an image of it stinging Lance and Seth immediately sent back a warning to do no such thing. Joro sulked, but he didn’t have time to worry about its feelings.
“Are you talking to the vamp or the spider?” Lance wondered aloud.
“Are you changing your question?” Seth asked.
“Not yet. Answer my other one first. How did you get bonded to the vamp?” Lance asked firmly.
He sighed. “It’s kind of a long story.”
“I’ve got all day. I’ll put on more water for tea.”
Seth sighed again. How did he tell Lance about Anri? He would just tell the story, unabridged. He started with the night that Brooke stood him up at Kintsugi, when he met Anri for the first time. About how he felt compelled to go back and see Anri.
“Wait, wait,” Lance interrupted. “Anri? Who’s Anri?”
“Am I telling this story? I’m getting there,” he snapped impatiently.
“You are horrible at this. I just want the facts, I don’t need you to write me a novel!” Lance complained.
“You get what you get. Unless I am allowed to be done and ask another question,” he replied snarkily.
“Please, continue with your novel,” Lance said magnanimously, spreading his hands before him.
Seth continued on to the night when he got the papercut and Anri’s reaction. Lance almost interrupted again but kept his mouth shut. He talked about the meeting with Simone, and the night he ‘accidentally’ cut his hand, forcing Anri to reveal he was a vampire.
Lance squirmed with questions. Seth sighed. “What?”
“Anri…not Simone? Anri is the vampire who was unable to resist your blood? Anri is, um…is Anri a girl?” Lance asked carefully.
“Anri isn’t really a girl’s name, is it? Yes, he was unable to resist my blood, and still is,” he replied tartly. He his face grew hot as blood filled his cheeks with embarrassment.
“Um…when I left, you were not gay. I would have known,” Lance said awkwardly.
“What, are you, like a supernatural gay detector now, too?” Seth snapped.
“Sorry, Seth. I didn’t….” Lance stumbled.
“Yea, you didn’t,” he barked defensively, then immediately frowned at the deflated look on Lance’s face.
“I don’t think I’m gay. Maybe bi? The only guy I am attracted to is Anri. He’s…he’s different. Before I met him I never thought I might be attracted to men. I’ve looked at other men, since I met him, to see if I suddenly found them attractive. I don’t, not in the way I find Anri attractive. I think it’s just him. Simone says it’s like a vampire fairytale, though she’s a romantic at heart.” He smiled weakly. He was afraid to look up at Lance. This was not how he had envisioned spending the last day of break before he started back to school.
The silence stretched between them. Seth broke it first. “I didn’t mean for it to happen. I couldn’t help myself. I felt compelled. I just had to…with Anri, there’s just something about him that makes me want to be around him. To touch him. To be with him. Before I realized it, I was in love. I mean, Lance, I realized that I’ve never known love before Anri. He, there is something inside me that he fills, a hole. I feel whole since we bonded. I wonder how I ever lived with the emptiness inside of me that he fills? How did I not feel it before?”
Lance cleared his throat. “Seth,” he began hesitantly. His hands reached across the table and rested on Seth’s in a comforting way. “I’m sorry, I have been an insensitive jerk. Thank you for telling me about Anri. I think it’s your turn to ask a question.”
Seth looked up. Lance looked back at him, a gentle smile on his face. Relief coursed through him. “Thanks for not being a judgy dick. I appreciate it. I…wasn’t exactly ready to tell you about Anri yet.”
Lance snorted. “I’m not a completely insensitive jerk. I wouldn’t invite him to your mom’s house just yet, though. I’m not sure our hometown is progressive enough for you to bring a vampire boyfriend home.” Lance chuckled
Seth’s forehead scrunched up, then he laughed, too.
Seth refilled his cup and found a new teabag, earl grey. “More tea?” He waved the teapot in Lance’s direction. Lance nodded and Seth filled his cup with steaming water. He slid a cellophane wrapped teabag over the table to Lance before sitting down across from him.
“So, it’s my turn, even though I didn’t finish with my answer?” Seth asked.
“My question was unfair, as it revealed several secrets. I’ll ask it again when it’s my turn and you can continue where you left off.” Lance took a tentative sip of his steaming tea and finding it too hot. He put it down on the table. He picked up the empty plates and apples cores and carried them over to the sink, putting the apple cores in the trash can hidden below it.
Seth thought for a moment, then asked as Lance was sitting down, “How do you know all this stuff about vampires and bonds and Joro?”
Lance frowned again. “That’s a lot of questions. I’ll pick one.”
“Not fair!” Seth interjected. “Especially since I’ve known you for like, ever, and you never ever told me anything. Not fair.”
Lance snorted. “Fine. It’s hard to know how to answer that question.” He scratched his head. “So, um, I knew from the first time I met you that you were a Wren, though I didn’t know that was the term or even what it meant. I can sense stuff like that. Like your bond. I asked my step-dad about you when I met you and he told me that if I cared for you at all, I had to protect you from bad guys. Vampires. I didn’t understand at the time, we were just kids. I knew my family was different, though. We weren’t supposed to talk about it.”
“I wanted to tell you, share it with you, but my mom placed a glamor on me that kept me from being able to say anything. It wore off in high school as I outgrew it but, well, I was so used to keeping secrets that I figured I would wait until the right time.”
“Seems to me,” Seth interjected, “that the right time was a little late.”
“So it was,” Lance agreed with a wince. “I never imagined that I would be gone for a few weeks and I come back to find you twice bound. And, definitely not bound and wed to a man. I can’t help feel a little responsible. I have kept so many vamps from catching your scent over the years.”
“You have?” he asked, bewildered. He had had no idea. “Anri and Simone both seemed surprised that I didn’t know what I was, and that another vampire hadn’t marked me.”
“I have. I put a glamor on you to keep vampires from catching your pheromones but it wears off. I have to replace it pretty often. Brooke was supposed to…well, she didn’t. I…should have been here. I could have prevented this.” Lance shook his head in disappointment.
“No, Lance, don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m glad you weren’t. I love Anri. I know it sounds sappy, and I embarrass myself if I think about it too much, but he makes me feel complete. Like we were meant to be together. Like he holds a piece of myself that I didn’t realize was missing. You know, vampire fairy tale and all that,” he prattled on, his blush growing deeper.
“Oh, Seth,” Lance said tiredly, “you’re just enthralled. It’s a vamp thing, they do that. You should avoid him. You’d forget about him, it would pass. I could cut your bond, I could make it so it doesn’t hurt too much-”
“Don’t. You. Dare.” He punctuated each word passionately. He was standing, leaning over the table, though he didn’t realize he had done it. His adrenaline surged, perking both Anri and Joro’s attention.
Lance put his hands up in defeat. “Chill, Seth. I won’t do anything. I promise.”
“Never touch my bond again without my permission. Never. Promise me. Promise me now or get out of my house.” Seth spoke just above a whisper but the threat was loud enough. Joro sent him images of it back in the kitchen and he mentally told it to stay put.
“I’m sorry, Seth. I won’t. I swear on my name I won’t,” Lance said seriously. “Please sit back down.”
Seth took a deep breath and tried to calm down. The thought of Lance touching his bond again, threatening to cut him off from Anri, it set his blood afire.
“Seth, calm down or you’re going to call your spider back out here,” Lance said, peering behind Seth into the hallway anxiously. He shivered a little.
“I’m calm. I’m fine. Let’s talk about something else for a while. What did you have planned originally for today? We could still do that,” he said, his blood still hot, but cooling. He could call off Joro, but he couldn’t hide from Anri.
He knew it was coming, but the vibration of his phone still made him jump. A text from Anri. Everything okay? I am really good at GTA but don’t want to get arrested for real…I look horrible in orange.
Seth snorted. He swiped in a quick response. GTA? Oh, Grand Theft Auto, the game. I’m fine. I promise, please don’t start hotwiring just yet. Just got upset. Call you later.
“Shit, Seth. You really do love him. Jesus. That stupid grin on your face…” Lance said sympathetically.
Seth looked up at him. “Huh?”
“The look on your face when you are texting him. Like you’re in your own world with just him. Whatever. Let’s go spend money we don’t have. Well, money you don’t have, as you know I’m loaded. I want a new backpack.”
Seth rolled his eyes. This was the Lance he knew. “I’m taking a shower first. Figure out a way to entertain yourself for a while that doesn’t include going through all of the stuff on my phone or computer, K?”
Lance smiled with that look that said he was totally going to do all of those things now that Seth requested he not. He shook his head, then slipped down the basement steps. “Behave, Lance,” he called over his shoulder.
“Not on your life,” Lance’s reply followed behind him, totally predictable.
Dreadfully Erotic 