Dinner started out a little awkward, but Josh soon had her relaxing. Godwin hadn’t even come inside. He stayed outside, she could feel him now with so much of his blood in her system. It was buzzing like angry bees in her veins, and she wasn’t sure if it was because of his emotions or just because she had drank so deeply.

She really wasn’t hungry at all now, for food or blood, and picked dismissively at the pizza in front of her.

“Aren’t you hungry?” Josh asked, eyeing her plate after demolishing his own, bringing her attention back to him.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I ate before I came, I know I shouldn’t have, but I was hungry.” It wasn’t a lie, it just wasn’t the full truth, either.

He smiled and she blushed. “You’re adorable, Seneca. No problem, but do you care if I eat your pie?”

She shook her head and he dug into her pizza, sliding her tray across the table. She watched him eat, but she wasn’t inside with him. Her heart was with Godwin, and he was outside, moving around. He was close, but she could feel him constantly moving. It had her on edge.

“You seem distracted,” Josh said as he finished one of her slices.

“I guess I am. I’m not feeling that great today, honestly. I’m sorry, Josh, I’m being a terrible date,” she apologized, trying and failing to focus only on Josh. Her rebellious mind tracked Godwin’s movements outside.

“Do you want to call tonight off?” he asked, sounding genuinely concerned for her.

“I don’t want to disappoint…you,” she said, catching herself before she could mention Godwin. She looked away.

He smiled warmly at her. “Disappoint me? Seneca, we do this because we both enjoy it, right? I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you. If you aren’t feeling it tonight, we’ll get some pizza and call it a night. I’m not a complete asshole.”

She smiled genuinely for the first time that night. “Thank you, Josh. I never said you were, did I?”

He laughed. “Ah, once, maybe. You don’t remember our breakup? I mean, we hadn’t been dating that long, but you were pretty pissed…”

She bit the inside of her cheek. “I don’t…I was trying to remember, but I can’t.”

He nodded, biting into another slice of pizza. How was he eating this much pizza? Where did he put it, because it wasn’t in those toned abs that had her swooning. “Really? You found me with another vampire. Walked in on the whole deal, sex and blood. Stupidly, I didn’t think it would be a big deal, I mean, I was young and dumb. I didn’t know how territorial some vamps get with Wrens. You were so mad at me, I can’t believe you don’t remember it. You wouldn’t talk to me, didn’t talk to me ever again after that. Said I was the biggest asshole you’d ever met.”

She thought back, and did vaguely remember now, though it was hazy. “I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I…well, I think that would still bother me, if you didn’t make it clear to me first. I like to think I am a lot more…open minded…than I used to be,” she said, hiding her embarrassment behind her cup of water as she swallowed it down.

“Oh, that’s for sure,” he agreed easily. “You are so different, yet so the same.”

She smiled at him. “I’m glad we reconnected, you know? I really enjoy what we have right now. But…that being said, I haven’t been completely honest with you…” she trailed off, her good mood wilting.

Oh god, why had she said that? Why did she feel like she needed to tell him about Godwin? Would it make Godwin mad? Would it ruin their relationship, would he leave her? The comment about she broke up with Josh, the fuzzy memories of how they broke up made it feel all too real all of a sudden. Because she was treating their relationship as open without his consent, that was exactly what had made her so mad at Josh all those years ago, wasn’t it?

She had to make it right. It felt like the right thing to do, even if it would make Godwin upset. He…her heart hurt at the thought of him leaving her, so she traced his collar with her fingers, growing calmer. Godwin was already upset, and probably at something she had done, so she may as well make this right. She was tired of lying.

Josh watched her battle her inner dialogue curiously. “Does this have something to do with that collar you always wear?”

She gasped. The look of shock on her face was probably priceless, but she didn’t have a filter right now. “Collar?!” she almost gagged on the word, dropping her hand to her lap.

He smiled coyly. “Seneca, we aren’t kids anymore. If you’re into S&M, I get it. It actually kinda explains a whole lot of things. We do some kinky stuff, not anything truly S&M, but you often seem reluctant to do it. As if…is someone telling you what to do when you’re with me? And it really seems to get you off. Do you have a master?” he quizzed her nervously. He wasn’t looking at her, and she wasn’t looking at him, either. “I mean, oh geez, I’m sorry, I’m such a proper idiot, please don’t be mad at me, Seneca. Sometimes I speak before I actually process what I’m thinking.”

She was so nervous it was making her feel sick. How was he so right? “How do you know, Josh?” she asked. Where was Godwin? She needed him here. Had she really been ready to tell Josh about him? She couldn’t, how would she even explain. She wished Godwin was here, he would help. Where was he? She reached out for him, following the direction his blood told her he was in. He was close, but that wasn’t good enough. She needed him here. The whole night was going to shit.

She scowled. “Like I said, Seneca, I went too far. This isn’t the time or place for this conversation. But…I think I’m right. Am I? You don’t have to tell me details, but tell me if I’m right or not,” he insisted. “Tell me that and I’ll let it drop until we get someplace more private.”

She shifted, so absolutely mortified that she couldn’t respond at first. Her fingers were dancing on her collar again, running over it, the sensations soothing. She caught herself, forcing her hands into her lap.

“Sorry, Seneca,” he said softly, pushing the rest of her pizza away from him. “I get it. I’ll go pay and-”

“No, it’s my turn to pay,” she interrupted a little too loudly.

He sat back down with a look of mild shock. “Okay…” he relented.

Where was Godwin? What was she supposed to tell Josh? Everything was crashing down around her. It felt like it was pushing in from all sides. Godwin was upset, probably with her, Josh knew, or at least had a pretty good idea of the game they played, she loved Godwin and yet…

She paid without paying attention, then floated back to Josh. He was flipping through some type of something or another on his phone, but he looked up as she walked by, a tight, worried smile on his face.

“Seneca,” he began.

“Not here, Josh. Please, not here. Let’s just get a hotel,” she entreated.

“You still want to go?” he asked, genuinely surprised. “With me?”

She snorted. “I do, even if it is just to talk. I just…well, I want to have fun, is that okay? I just want to have a good time and not think about stuff for a few minutes.”

He nodded. “I get it. But…why don’t we go back to my place? Doesn’t it get expensive, booking a hotel so often?”

“It’s the…ah…I don’t…” she stuttered, unsure how to answer that. She never paid. She hadn’t even thought about it, but she never paid for the hotel rooms they used. Godwin always just gave her a key and she used it. She wondered now if he paid for the room or if he used his charm to get one every time.

She knew, though, that going to Josh’s house was would be crossing a line they couldn’t return back from.

“I don’t think we should,” she hedged. Godwin hadn’t given her a hotel key yet tonight, she realized with a start. “But…I don’t have a key…” She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She was screwing it up again, screwing everything up again. Her guilt and self hatred, which had been so distant in the last few weeks, were like boulders on her chest. She could hardly breathe. How had she lived with these emotions until now?

“Come to my place, Seneca,” he insisted. “I live kinda close. I promise, I won’t do anything you don’t want.”

“I can’t,” she insisted.

He nodded sagely, understanding in his eyes. “Just tell me, Seneca. Yes or no. To the question I asked you earlier. Is it a collar? Is this some type of game you’re playing with me?”

She squirmed, then practically ran to the door. She heard him sigh heavily, then follow after her.

She ran out, across the street without even looking in a nearly full-blown panic attack. “Godwin!” she called to the sky.

Josh ran after her. “Seneca, calm down. I…I won’t ask you again. I’m sorry. Please, just calm down.”

As if responding to her call, Godwin walked around the corner of the building next to the alley they had come down earlier. It took everything she had not to run to him or call to him. Josh was standing there.

“Seneca, what has you so troubled? What happened during dinner?” he asked her as he rushed over, reaching out to touch her. His eyes were pure silver, and his face was a bit more angled than normal. He was the most demon-looking she had ever seen him, stunning, handsome, beautiful. She wanted him, she loved him. Her heart was full and broken at the same time.

His hand stopped just before he touched her face, his eyes locked on something behind her. She turned to see what he was looking at, then remembered Josh. Josh watched them both in fascination.

“You’re…Seneca, is he your master?” he asked her with what she thought might have been awe.

Her stomach flipped and she thought she might be sick. Godwin hissed, the scowl on his handsome features giving him a more devilish appearance.

“You can see him…I’ve ruined everything…” she said as the first big fat tears began to fall down her face. “I’m sorry. I’m s-s-s-sorry,” she cried, sobs racking her body. She didn’t even know who she was apologizing to, at this point. Everyone. How had this gone so terribly wrong so fast?

Godwin’s arms were around her, pressing her face to his chest. He said something to Josh but she couldn’t hear it over her own pathetic sniveling. His arms were so warm and comforting. Would she ever feel this safe again? This whole?

No, she messed everything up. It would end, it was ending now. She expected Josh to storm off angrily, or Godwin to dump her on a park bench and leave. She messed up, and she would be abandoned. Again.

Neither of those things happened, though. Being in Godwin’s arms somehow faded her depression and self hatred down to manageable levels, and her tears began to dry up. She could hear them both talking, could feel the bassy rumble of it through Godwin’s chest pressed against her face, but she couldn’t make out anything they said.

Godwin picked her up as if she weighed nothing and they began moving, but she didn’t care. She kept her eyes closed, clinging to Godwin, so worried that once he put her down he would be gone forever. She was so worried that if she opened her eyes, she would wake up and everything with Godwin would have been a dream.

Warm breath tickled her ear as the incubus whispered something she couldn’t understand. “Tavani, hansa,” she thought she heard. Her head felt heavy, but not as heavy as her eyes.

She must have fallen asleep in his arms as he carried her, his steps rhythmic and hypnotic. She woke again when he moved to put her down. Whimpering, she clutched his suit coat, holding on for dear life.

“Shh, Seneca, everything is well, I will not leave your side. Hush now, and let me set you down. I promise I will not leave you,” he cooed soothingly into her ear.

Her hands relaxed even though she didn’t want to let go. Reluctantly she relaxed her body, releasing her grip on Godwin and he put her down onto what felt like a sofa. She opened her eyes. They were in a place she was unfamiliar with and it made her nervous, but it smelled like Josh. Josh had offered his place…

“Is this your apartment?” she snuffled, embarrassed down to her toes.

“Yea,” she heard him reply, as she couldn’t make herself look at him.

She curled up around herself, pulling her knees in tight to her chest, not even caring if she was exposing her panties to the men in the room. They had both seen them before, anyway. Wriggling deeper on the couch, she took the opportunity to look around.

Josh’s apartment was larger than hers, but not by much. At least what she could see of it. The living room and kitchen areas blended together into one large, open room. She sat on a blue sofa facing one of the largest TVs she had ever seen in someone’s home. Game systems lined a shelf under the TV, and there were discs and cases all over the messy coffee table between her and the TV. Josh was in the kitchen, filling glasses with water. She saw the sink was full of dirty dishes, and could smell them, too.

He had comic book art all over the walls. Large prints of comic book covers blown up to poster size, movie posters for superhero flicks, and an actual cutout of Halle Berry as Storm from one of the Xmen movies standing next to the TV.

She smiled despite her absolute terror at how wrong the night had gone. This place was so Josh. She dropped her head to her knees as Godwin sat down on the couch next to her. His hand was a warm, welcome pressure on her lower back.

“So, yeah…” Josh said as he brought two cups of water to them. He handed one to Godwin, looked at her and then changed his mind about handing it to her. Instead, he cleared a space on the coffee table by pushing everything into even messier piles, then put the glass down there. He pulled a kitchen table chair into the living room area, flipped it around and the plopped down in it casually.  

“Indeed,” Godwin agreed.

Seneca just buried her head deeper into her knees, wishing that if she could close her eyes hard enough that she could just wake up and none of this would have occurred.

“Seneca,” Godwin said gently, shifting so that he was facing her more than Josh. She attempted to bury herself deeper, but she couldn’t get any smaller. “All is well, and none of this is at your fault,” he assured her kindly.

She felt her tears welling up again at the thought that she failed him. “I messed it all up, Godwin. Of course it’s my fault.” She looked up and one large tear trailed down her cheek.

He caught it as it tracked down her face. “No, that is untrue. Partially the fault is mine, but this is nothing to cause such heartache.”

“How is this your fault, Godwin?” she bit out harshly. “I’m the one who messed up. I’m the one who fell apart tonight, and I’m the one who made you upset before we even went there. I drank too much, but even before that, I don’t even know what I did, but I did something to upset you. I’ve screwed up everything,” she declared, angry at herself. “And now I’ve ruined this, with Josh, too.”

Both men started to talk at once, then they looked at each other in surprise.

“I am not upset with you, Seneca, nor was I upset with you at any time this evening,” Godwin strongly insisted.

Josh snorted. “You didn’t mess up with me,” he assured her. “I already had a pretty good idea of what was going on before tonight, at least with your, ah…behavior. And…I’ve seen Godwin before a few times, too. Sometimes I thought I just imagined it, but I saw him occasionally when we were together. Touching your collar, whispering into your ear. It…ah…” he trailed, his face pinking with embarrassment.

“You saw him?” Seneca picked her head up from her knees, looking at him in astonishment.

“Ah, well, it was sometimes like a mirage or something, shimmery, like a ghost or an outline. But his eyes, I’ve seen those before. I’ve felt them watch us. I never thought I was into voyeurism​, but it is so fucking hot when you are getting into it and I can feel him watch us,” he admitted, looking away.

“You are very perceptive for a human,” Godwin said, biting his lip in thought.

“He’s a Wren,” Seneca said.

Godwin glanced at her. “You mentioned this before. I did not pay it enough heed, obviously. Please describe what it means that he is a Wren.”

“It’s not always so easy to describe. I guess, like I said before, they are mates for vampires. We can only get pregnant with Wrens. They are humans, but not Norms, normal people. They are sensitive to the supernatural, they can sense vampires. I guess they can also sense other supernaturals, too, if he could feel you. I didn’t really think…” she trailed off.

God, she was so stupid. Of course Josh would be able to feel Godwin if he was able to sense the supernatural. She bit the inside of her lip until she drew blood.

“Stop, Seneca. You are punishing yourself for things beyond your control. Perhaps this is for the best. Josh Crocker and I have discussed the game we play and he is interested in continuing. In fact, this opens a variety of new opportunities for our play,” Godwin said, a hint of eagerness in his voice.

“You…” she began, looking over at Josh, “you still want to…do this? Even though I lied to you?”

“When did you ever lie to me?” he asked her seriously. “You never lied to me, not once. You were very clear you didn’t want to ‘date’ me in any conventional sense. I never asked about other partners. Is it weird that he was there every time we did stuff? Maybe a little, but it is also hot as hell. He is a freaking incubus, Seneca!”

“You told him that, too?” she cried out to Godwin. His silver eyes, so unnatural and ephemeral, stared back at her. “You had to, I’m sorry,” she apologized quickly.

“He could tell, even without my…demonic nature slipping through, because of our play, that I was not typical in any conventional sense. This simplifies everything, Seneca. Please, relax now,” he said softly, but she felt the command in his voice.

She worked to relax herself, because that was what Godwin wanted. He smiled as she relaxed, then pulled her against his body. His heat was comforting and she wriggled closer to him. Josh watched them with an unreadable look in his eyes.

“Josh, would you still like to play tonight?” Godwin asked without looking at her. Her core tightened in response as her butterflies took flight.  

“Yeah, of course, I mean, if you’re still up for it…”

The Game Chapter 13: Strange Vibes

The Game Chapter 14 coming soon!